Nur...sitting down to read your posts is not a simple breakfast snack to get the day rolling....no...it is full seven course meal!!! The tools are laid out in perfect order (well mostly🙂) and you go through each one beautifully. I particularly appreciated this line..."Take full ownership of your shit. I say this often and I’ll say it again: your mental health isn’t your fault, but it is your responsibility". I think this beginning point is 90% of the healing and the remaining 10%, though critical, is testing and following the options that work for you. I think it feels like the 10% is where the work is, but I think really getting to the core of being responsible and accountable to ourselves is the 90% and the most challenging and difficult part. As always, I thank you for your honesty, vulnerability and clarity. Bloody legend I say!!!!!
Taking ownership is the hardest part for sure. I often think of 'that which we resist, persists, and grows stronger'. It feels like it's the case from something as big as substance abuse to something as little about a minor character insecurity.
Thanks as always, Ian. comments like this are a massive reason that I can stay wanting to write even when it seems like an impossible endeavor.
This was so insightful. I like what you said about considering what the negative emotion does for us. You are spot on about action begetting action. I can relate to some of your goals. Thanks for sharing.
Nice piece Nur. I have a solution to getting out of a rut, a 100 percent success rate.
Fasting.
Hear me out. The very notion of being “stuck in a rut” is that you find it difficult to take action. Fasting, not eating, isn’t action….it’s inaction. It’s easy to not do something.
Once you begin to feel hunger, you will be motivated to do things because the body is designed to become energized in search of food. I feel most motivated and energetic after a long fast and a cup of coffee.
When I lose my mojo I trick myself into the action. When I’ve ‘let myself go’ i.e. not taken ANY self care, my hair grows out (from a skinhead) and I look like a grubby old man. Because I can’t be bothered to shave my head but I’m aware that’s the first step in straightening myself up, I’ll grab a shaver and shave one stripe straight down my head. No preparation, no mirror. Just grab and shave like a madman. Now I have to shave my head properly. And now I might as well do my beard. Then I have to shower because of the needles of hair in my back. Then I have to put on fresh clothes. Now I’m feeling better. Now I can put my old clothes in the wash. Oh the rooms a bit tidier, I might as well take that rubbish downstairs. Now I find other first step tricks. I’ll pour some bleach on the kitchen tiles. Now I have to get rid of that, so I’ll grab a mop and bucket. Etc. Action begets action but the knack is finding that first small irrecoverable action.
I'm in a similar position, just trying to make lists and do a few things a day. Hoping I can add more - but still find time just goes, and it's a mystery where.
Hey Nur, this was a very fruitful post! I love the point you made about taking inventory and showing how action begets motivation! I think evaluating ourselves and knowing how we feel about certain things we don’t think we’re doing or not doing enough of in our lives is the perfect place to start! Then, adding in new actions or habits and increasing our motivation/momentum can be a huge part of getting our mojo back! Plus, as a powerpuff girls fan, I loved your mojo picture! Keep up the great work! :)
Nur, I feel SEEN lol. You're describing so much of my current vibe at the moment, rising and falling with the ocean tides. Even down to your friend who we shall also call Jameson; I have a Jameson in my life at the moment who I want to scream: "Just do it and stop talking about it!" I can so clearly see some of the inner monologue that's holding them back.
I've been building my confidence lately- working out more and feeling more confident in performing standup comedy, and as a result it attracts more things- more shows, new friends, etc- it's exciting!
Lists. (Even ones that include the simple things, like “eat. Brush teeth. Get dressed.” That I can check off and feel a sense of accomplishment.
Self-care is not selfish. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so I do something to fill my cup. Fill to over flowing and THEN sharing it with others is easier. For me, self-care could be a massage, dinner with a friend, walk with my hubby, bubble bath, foam rolling, reading a book…
I usually lean into it briefly, like maybe for a day or two. I let myself sit on the sofa all day, binge watch, read, avoid people and socializing, and then a day or two later I wake up with more purpose, wear something I feel good in, see a friend, workout, or whatever I feel like doing. And slowly I get my mojo back. But it goes in cycles for me, which I think is ok!
Yeah, I have the cycles as well for sure. I like the idea of leaning into it. I recently learned that letting things fall apart is sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves
I can relate so much to this “time wasted being on low energy” thinking pattern! I guess it’s a lot related to perfectionism. And if we then actually get our Mojo back but overshoot, we find us soon again in the same cycle because we simply could not keep up with our own expectations!
Thanks for making the more sustainable process accessible.
I find the last bit on the people we let in our lives during more of an ebb phase quite thought provoking! Thanks ☺️
It's definitely related to perfectionism, I think, but also: I had a therapist a few years ago tell me that the 'time wasted' aspect is one of the most common things she hears in her practice. So, at least it's more common than we realize.
Your writing is so good 😊 Just sent you a connect request on LinkedIn - will look out for any roles that fit your background. I’m job hunting too at the moment and it’s just 😖😖😖
Nur...sitting down to read your posts is not a simple breakfast snack to get the day rolling....no...it is full seven course meal!!! The tools are laid out in perfect order (well mostly🙂) and you go through each one beautifully. I particularly appreciated this line..."Take full ownership of your shit. I say this often and I’ll say it again: your mental health isn’t your fault, but it is your responsibility". I think this beginning point is 90% of the healing and the remaining 10%, though critical, is testing and following the options that work for you. I think it feels like the 10% is where the work is, but I think really getting to the core of being responsible and accountable to ourselves is the 90% and the most challenging and difficult part. As always, I thank you for your honesty, vulnerability and clarity. Bloody legend I say!!!!!
Taking ownership is the hardest part for sure. I often think of 'that which we resist, persists, and grows stronger'. It feels like it's the case from something as big as substance abuse to something as little about a minor character insecurity.
Thanks as always, Ian. comments like this are a massive reason that I can stay wanting to write even when it seems like an impossible endeavor.
This was so insightful. I like what you said about considering what the negative emotion does for us. You are spot on about action begetting action. I can relate to some of your goals. Thanks for sharing.
thank you my friend
You're welcome!
Yes, just one thing at a time. The old saw, "How to eat an elephant? One bite at a time". Great reminders and actionable items here, Nur! Thank you. 🌻
Funny you say that, I just had elephant for breakfast
🤣😂🤣
Nice piece Nur. I have a solution to getting out of a rut, a 100 percent success rate.
Fasting.
Hear me out. The very notion of being “stuck in a rut” is that you find it difficult to take action. Fasting, not eating, isn’t action….it’s inaction. It’s easy to not do something.
Once you begin to feel hunger, you will be motivated to do things because the body is designed to become energized in search of food. I feel most motivated and energetic after a long fast and a cup of coffee.
🙏🏼🙏🏼
When I lose my mojo I trick myself into the action. When I’ve ‘let myself go’ i.e. not taken ANY self care, my hair grows out (from a skinhead) and I look like a grubby old man. Because I can’t be bothered to shave my head but I’m aware that’s the first step in straightening myself up, I’ll grab a shaver and shave one stripe straight down my head. No preparation, no mirror. Just grab and shave like a madman. Now I have to shave my head properly. And now I might as well do my beard. Then I have to shower because of the needles of hair in my back. Then I have to put on fresh clothes. Now I’m feeling better. Now I can put my old clothes in the wash. Oh the rooms a bit tidier, I might as well take that rubbish downstairs. Now I find other first step tricks. I’ll pour some bleach on the kitchen tiles. Now I have to get rid of that, so I’ll grab a mop and bucket. Etc. Action begets action but the knack is finding that first small irrecoverable action.
great take!
I'm in a similar position, just trying to make lists and do a few things a day. Hoping I can add more - but still find time just goes, and it's a mystery where.
Yeah. One day at a time, little by little. It's the only way forward for better or worse
Hey Nur, this was a very fruitful post! I love the point you made about taking inventory and showing how action begets motivation! I think evaluating ourselves and knowing how we feel about certain things we don’t think we’re doing or not doing enough of in our lives is the perfect place to start! Then, adding in new actions or habits and increasing our motivation/momentum can be a huge part of getting our mojo back! Plus, as a powerpuff girls fan, I loved your mojo picture! Keep up the great work! :)
We need more powerpuff girls characters in our posts. It’s a substack tragedy
Haha, exactly Nur! More Powerpuff Girls! That’s what we require! :)
Nur, I feel SEEN lol. You're describing so much of my current vibe at the moment, rising and falling with the ocean tides. Even down to your friend who we shall also call Jameson; I have a Jameson in my life at the moment who I want to scream: "Just do it and stop talking about it!" I can so clearly see some of the inner monologue that's holding them back.
Love your writing, and thanks for sharing!
I've been building my confidence lately- working out more and feeling more confident in performing standup comedy, and as a result it attracts more things- more shows, new friends, etc- it's exciting!
That’s awesome!! Just getting up there and doing Standup comedy makes me in awe of you
Thanks! You get used it it. Where are you based?
This is fantastic!
Lists. (Even ones that include the simple things, like “eat. Brush teeth. Get dressed.” That I can check off and feel a sense of accomplishment.
Self-care is not selfish. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so I do something to fill my cup. Fill to over flowing and THEN sharing it with others is easier. For me, self-care could be a massage, dinner with a friend, walk with my hubby, bubble bath, foam rolling, reading a book…
Lists are great, I agree! Anything that sets off that sense of momentum
I usually lean into it briefly, like maybe for a day or two. I let myself sit on the sofa all day, binge watch, read, avoid people and socializing, and then a day or two later I wake up with more purpose, wear something I feel good in, see a friend, workout, or whatever I feel like doing. And slowly I get my mojo back. But it goes in cycles for me, which I think is ok!
Yeah, I have the cycles as well for sure. I like the idea of leaning into it. I recently learned that letting things fall apart is sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves
💯
'When coming out of a rut, action feels like a herculean task.'
It really does. It takes so much willpower to take constructive and positive steps.
yeah absolutely.
I could be at that party.
I can relate so much to this “time wasted being on low energy” thinking pattern! I guess it’s a lot related to perfectionism. And if we then actually get our Mojo back but overshoot, we find us soon again in the same cycle because we simply could not keep up with our own expectations!
Thanks for making the more sustainable process accessible.
I find the last bit on the people we let in our lives during more of an ebb phase quite thought provoking! Thanks ☺️
It's definitely related to perfectionism, I think, but also: I had a therapist a few years ago tell me that the 'time wasted' aspect is one of the most common things she hears in her practice. So, at least it's more common than we realize.
Oh that’s comforting to know!
Your writing is so good 😊 Just sent you a connect request on LinkedIn - will look out for any roles that fit your background. I’m job hunting too at the moment and it’s just 😖😖😖
Thank you so much! I appreciate the compliment. Yeah, the job search sucks! haha