45 Comments
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Ian Haycroft's avatar

Nur your capacity to notice your ebbs and flows so mindfully is a testament to the work you have done internally. I know that noticing does not necessarily reduce the suffering...but I know for sure it helps others. I don't think we can underestimate the value of the experience that many will have reading your work and the inner response they may have..."oh...so I am in fact not the only one who goes through this". Some struggle to go to support groups, but reading what you say meets a really important place in people I think. Thank you for what you do.

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Nur Nadar's avatar

" Some struggle to go to support groups, but reading what you say meets a really important place in people I think. "

Thank you my friend. If I can have even half the effect support groups have had on me, I'll be happy

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Raveen's avatar

'Our mental health is not our fault.'

A great point, Nur. It's very important to remind ourselves of this fact and not place even more emotional burdens on ourselves.

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Nur Nadar's avatar

agreed

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Emmy's avatar

We like you just as you are. ANTs and all. I think we set things up for ourselves to learn in our lifetimes. Even when it's miserable, it's so we can go 'oh...I see'. Substack is a great forum for you, I think. Readership just likes to hear what you have to say - they don't care if you write every week, or when you feel like it. Re: Bear, if you asked him if he'd be better off with someone else he'd disagree. You're his Person, he is your dog. That's why you found each other. Bear says "I'm here for you". (I mean seriously, just look at that face - it's what he's saying).

You are one of my favorite authors/people, I feel a kindred spirit - We both have white cartoon dogs in our artwork! Hang in there. You are absolutely worth it. You just picked a more difficult level in this game than some others did.

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Nur Nadar's avatar

Thank you so much for the kind words of support, Emmy. I t means a lot to me. So does your subscription 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

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BEE Channel's avatar

This was incredibly profound and uber relatable. I love what you said about human seemings. That was brilliant. It was also quite humorous in a dark way when you mentioned that the trolls were seeking comfort and an escape from their own loneliness. It really is something how our brain plays tricks on us and tells us bold faced lies when we are in those low, dark places. When I am feeling like that, I have to go back to gratitude, journal, put on some uplifting music (Gospel, RNB, or Neo-Soul are usually my genres of choice), or I will watch something funny.

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Nur Nadar's avatar

I'm really grateful to hear you got something out of this! Love the recommendation to watch something funny

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BEE Channel's avatar

Aww! Yes, I often say as a caregiver, sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. A healthy sense of humor is so important to help you thrive in life.

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Maggie Jon's avatar

Have you ever looked into S.A.D.? The change of seasons (every 4 months) can trigger depression or at least make symptoms worse.

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Nur Nadar's avatar

get your sheet together maggie

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Maggie Jon's avatar

I got my sheet together mostly 😛 S.A.D. though

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Os Ishmael's avatar

The ebbs of life can truly be painful. For me, I found solace in solitude. What worked was cutting out all the noise. I might go for a walk in the forest and just sit for a bit, looking inward and confronting my inner turmoil. Sure, it may not work all the time. However, I'll have a better sense of my inner self to share with others when I seek support.

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Nur Nadar's avatar

Great perspective my friend

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Fabienne Mannherz's avatar

How can you be so amazingly inspiring, Nur? I agree with Ian - this article is a testament! Well written, and likewise relatable, healing and kick in the b*tt.

I love everything about it. The phrasing around the title with the constant ebbs and flows but also, the notion of depressive episodes having a function.

Your post matches so well with an interview I just listened to a few days ago. The interviewee, a highly successful German entrepreneur, ranking high on the neurodivergence spectrum, made the following statement (translating and paraphrasing now): Take 100 people. Only 10 of them will have a deeper understanding of who they are and can be honest with themselves. However, those 10 also almost all will suffer from some kind of mental health challenges and depression from time to time. Since getting to know yourself. Really knowing yourself and looking into the shadows requires work. And going there hurts. Like a lot.

I think it is a soothing thought of where there is light there is shadow. To get to know ourselves, we have to go where it hurts from time to time.

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Nur Nadar's avatar

Thank you DJ fabby fab I appreciate you. That intervew sounds fascinating!

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Fabienne Mannherz's avatar

It is, it’s in German unfortunately 🙈

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Shanjitha's avatar

Then I think we are among those 10. And I’m happy about that.

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Fabienne Mannherz's avatar

Me, too! It might be more complex and difficult, but it is probably also closer to living life fully.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

I'm an ebb and flow kinda gal myself Nur. I'm with you. It is a struggle, but so worth it when you finally figure out how to modulate that ebb. I am personally proud of the effort and success I have had at this myself and it sounds like you're on much the same type of journey. I love reading your perspective on this. 😊

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Nur Nadar's avatar

gonna have to rename you to kick ass heather

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bluePNWcats's avatar

I like the sound of that, Nur 😄

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Ez Nadar's avatar

Boxing Doge

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Nur Nadar's avatar

eys

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Jane Deegan's avatar

I have been in an ebb in depression for the last two weeks and it hurts so much sometimes. Self medication won't help. I look ok on the outside but I try to get through each day. My negative thought cycle - I can be my own worst enemy. I'm trying and I want this to pass.

So many of us are struggling with depression and we don't see that part of them.

Thanks for sharing with us thorough your writing as always

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Nur Nadar's avatar

I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this, Jane. It’s absolutely sucks and can feel so isolating and lonely so just know that I see you and the effort you’re making 💪🏼

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Jane Deegan's avatar

Thanks Nur and appreciate it

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Sudana Krasniqi's avatar

mashallah what a brave piece 🙏🏼

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Nur Nadar's avatar

Shookran habib albi

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Joe Peluso's avatar

"Our mental health is not our fault. It is, however, our responsibility to manage it."

Love your perspective and words funny man! I'm humbling my own inner narcissist, fighting those depressive thoughts, and focusing on the positive / being grateful for every challenge... Its good to know there are others sharing in this whole experience.

Keep it up and thanks for the perspective!

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Nur Nadar's avatar

keep fighting the good fight!

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Juan Gonzalez's avatar

Very good writeup from start to finish. Even though I don't see myself in this, the recommendations at the end are spot on.

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Nur Nadar's avatar

thank you my brother

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Juan Gonzalez's avatar

Keep up the good work. 👍

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Zirintusa Joshua Yosia's avatar

Wow, incredible write up.

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Nur Nadar's avatar

thank you for the kind words 🙏🏼

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Frankie Paterson's avatar

Thank you for writing this piece I enjoyed listening to it with all the details, examples and reflections ❤️ I wrote about something similar recently. I tend to wallow for a while until I feel I can make change, I also find if I try to force myself out of it I just end up back down the next day. When I'm ready I try to get back into good habits/ set myself some small goals 😊

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Patrick Meowler's avatar

I love the art with your stories. Do you make the art yourself?

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